Warning: I’m sharing some real stuff this week. Do you ever feel like giving up? Do you ever feel so discouraged that even one more day of frustration will be too much too handle?
A couple of weeks ago there was a post on Facebook that said, “Depression and anxiety are very real, I would like five of my friends to post this (not share it) so I know who I can talk to if I ever need to.” There is one problem with this post…when you are down it’s damn hard to reach out. I know, I’ve been there. I have to admit, I’m still a work in progress on this. When I get down I remember something my Dad used to say, “Tomorrow is always a better day.” I think Dad said that as much for him in tough times as it was for me.
Everyone gets discouraged from time-to-time only there are a few key differences between people who keep on going and those who give up. Here are three of them:
1. Focus On Your Goal Not On Your Problems – One of my mentors was a highly successful property developer and he loved solving problems. Sadly he passed away in 2009. He was really good at getting things done no matter what. He could push through it. All day long he would take on one problem after the next and just keep on going. I always wondered, how in the heck he could do this when most people would feel overwhelmed and just give up? What I came to learn was his secret, he understood the importance of focus. (That dang focus!)
He never lost sight of his goal and his goals got him so excited that problems became nothing more than stepping stones to the path to achievement. Here’s another thing I learned from him, when you are feeling discouraged it is very likely because your focus is on what has not worked; what you don’t want, on your setbacks and on your fears. Work to discipline (train) your mind to focus on your goals and discouragement will fade into the distance.
2. Ask For Help – You do not have to deal with everything alone. I know it’s hard to ask for help, but if and when you eventually do, make sure it’s from someone who is qualified to help you and then act on their good advice. Two minds are better than one especially when your mind is full of discouragement and doubt.
I have a dear friend, David Yearwood (he’s a Certified Financial Planner, which means he’s really smart) who I meet with almost every Saturday for breakfast. David gives me perspective and our conversations are always full of possibilities. If you don’t have a David in your life, find a trusted friend especially if you happen to fall into discouragement and doubt like I do from time to time. When you enlist a trusted friend, I guarantee you will feel stronger knowing that someone else is backing you, someone who is keen to see you succeed.
3. Your Mind Works – When you think about it, really the only thing stopping you from getting from where you are to where you want to be is learning! Sure, you could have more money or resources, but you can learn to find those things. Learning an effective approach. If you do not know the answer, admit it. After all, why waste time guessing when you can open your mouth and ask?
I get it, that can be hard. Once you take charge of your thoughts and your emotions you will be able to deal with whatever challenges come your way. Until that happens you will always be at mercy to the ups and downs of a situation or of life. The most valuable gift you can give yourself is the ability to master self-motivation.
All this goes back to the three things that hold us back:
- Limiting Beliefs
- Low Standards
- Ineffective Strategies
The moment I finally understood how to motivate myself was the day my life changed forever. I remember a specific time when I was in the insurance business. Call it a mind hack or a game you play with yourself whatever, I discovered a tenacity that sees me though most any challenge I have to deal with. Until you learn how to run your brain instead of letting it run you…you realize that it’s really like having a super computer without a user manual. The power to motivate yourself will elude you until you commit to learning how to stay in control.
Feelings of overwhelming frustration and discouragement are not random occurrences. It all comes down to your level of awareness and how you use your mind. I know you can do it because I have before and now I’m working on mastery.
I believe in you! Now, all you have to do is believe in yourself. See you next time!