Self-sabotaging behaviors prevent you from conditioning yourself for success. Just when you get things going, those self-sabotaging behaviors show up.
These thoughts will keep us stuck right where we are and prevent us from moving forward. The fact is that changing those long, established self-sabotaging behavior patterns can be as difficult as recognizing and understanding them. The question then becomes, “How can you eliminate sabotaging beliefs and emotions?”
First, understand and accept yourself before attempting to understand and accept others. This comes from Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: “SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND AND THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD.” You have to take a journey within for personal evaluation. It means looking inside yourself and listening to your inner dialogue, or as some would say, your self-talk.
Use your journal to track that conversation that’s going on in your head. Remain open-minded to what you see and hear when discovering and understanding your beliefs. This is essential when making constructive changes in your behaviors; deciding how far and deep you want to go before introspection is your decision. You can take your life, your relationships, and your business to a new level when you discover empowering insights to eliminate damaging self-talk and undermining behaviors. Before going to sleep, consider using your journal as Alyssa Shea advises in a post about how you can use your mind to increase productivity:
I won’t promise that you’ll suddenly become this lean, mean, productivity machine after reading this, that would be insane. I can tell you that I’ve taken these tips to heart and will implement them in my own daily routine. What the writer suggests is, every night before you go to sleep, take 5 minutes to answer a few questions while you’re lying in bed.
By integrating this nightly exercise into your routine, you can sort through those self-sabotaging thoughts as well as find ways to boost your thoughtfulness.
Deciding to let go of self-sabotaging behaviors that prevent you from changing takes courage and a personal commitment to developing more effective actions. Before you go around believing you can change the beliefs and behavior of others, you have to first change yourself. This means overcoming resistances and sabotaging behaviors that have prevented you from experiencing an optimistic attitude. No matter what obstacles you face, developing an optimistic attitude and changing unrewarding behaviors and beliefs will awaken you to eliminate self-sabotaging behaviors.
So what steps can you take? Use these specific actions now, today, to become aware of and overcome your self-sabotaging beliefs and self-defeating emotions:
- Recognize that you are at the crossroads where your decisions and choices are yours and yours alone.
- Realize that you’re the one making the conscious decision to change your damaging self-talk and undermining beliefs and behaviors. No one else can do it for you.
- Change “I can’t” or “I won’t” to “I can, I will” on a consistent basis. Pay attention to the emotional changes going on within you. Be prepared to physically describe your changes and write them down. Repeat the process of writing down your changing feelings and behaviors and compare your notes every day. Measure your progress by the visible reoccurrences of positive self-talk and healthy behaviors. Continual negative self-talk will create resentments and disempowering beliefs. Self-resentment is the seed that grows into self-sabotaging behaviors.
- Plant the seeds that produce positive, empowering beliefs and actions. Ask yourself, “Are my actions linked to pleasure-producing situations or to pain-producing situations?” Take the road that gives you pleasure, not grief. The personal growth experienced from facing a fearful or painful event, or adversity, is important for self-improvement. Make sure you don’t make a steady diet of it. You can grow and change by cultivating positive emotions such as joy, excitement, and happiness.
Try these and let me know how it’s working for you. I’d like to hear from you!